Loud Thinking June 10, 2014 at 01:31PM

Don’t Let a Negotiation Ruin Your Relationship

It can be tough to press for your own interests in an important relationship – especially if you’re dealing with a boss or an important customer. But forgoing your own needs is a mistake. Here are three ways to negotiate without awkwardness:
Deal with the relationship head on. Separate your relationship from the essence of what’s being discussed. Emphasize that the relationship is important to you, but then agree to set it aside. If you don’t, it will be difficult to tackle specific terms, conditions, or concerns.
Don’t let it become leverage. “If you were a good partner, you’d agree with me,” is not an effective strategy for either you or your interlocutor. Bring the discussion back to the specific issue at hand.
Don’t cave. Instead of appeasing your counterpart to spare hard feelings, work with him or her. Be respectful, well prepared, and listen. Being trustworthy and constructive will actually make your relationship stronger.

Adapted by HBR from the HBR Guide to Negotiating by Jeff Weiss.

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